My life was perfect. I got great grades in school. I could play piano well. I had a dog, and a family that loved me even when I was very unlovable. I loved to read and learn. I was so blessed.And then, here I am now. Three months until I graduated from high school, and God placed such a hungering inside my heart that I couldn't even study for the psychology exam.
Let me explain:
Other kids get out of high school and their lives look like this.
- Go to college
- Graduate college
- Get married (2 and 3 can be interchanged)
- Have kids
- Get a dog - and a new car
- Buy a house
- Live happily ever after.
I know. This blows your mind. Not go to college? Not go to COLLEGE?!Okay, before you have a heart attack, let me explain.
God told me to do this. I'm not supposed to go. He wants me somewhere else.
He wants me to do whatever he wants me to do. In this case, it's missions.
During my junior year of high school, I wanted to go to college. I started looking at schools, calculating costs of living, comparing tuitions, and deciding what degree I was going to go into. And then my SAT score came in. And it wasn't high enough to get me enough scholarships and grants and awards to go.
A little voice in my head said: don't get into debt.(Yes, I have taken a Dave Ramsey class.)
So don't get into debt? I guess college is out then. I can work on the side, take a night class every semester, save up money, get a life.
There was no plan after that.
I was a little disappointed. I didn't really want to be one of those people who is doing the same job for their 60 working years. but that's what it was gonna be.
And then, a small voice - while I wasn't listening - put a word in the very back of my brain. Missions. And while driving home from a piano lesson, I stumbled across that word. I was a little shocked. I didn't even know what to do with it. I was a shy, stand-off-ish, very reserved teenage girl with a romantic streak, a sever case of introvertism, and bookworm tendencies. But the word stayed.
And it gradually moved up the list, knocking one option after another off, until it was at the top. And even then, it was still on the options list.
And one night, after talking with a friend who was living the American dream (see list above) - primarily, going to college - I broke. I told God that I wanted so desperately wanted to go to college, but he was going to have to work a miracle to make it happen.
I was standing in our front yard. It was night, windy, and a little cloudy, although the light from the moon and the house was enough to ruin the mood.
"I have something better for you, Sami". That's what he said.
And the missions idea went from an option to being the plan.
I'm not going to college. Let's just get that straight right now. I'm not going to college - I'm going into missions. Long-term, short-term, overseas or home - I'm really not sure. But I will go. Because that's what he wants me to do.
My story is different from everyone else. I'm don't have a defined "plan" that comes with a how-to manual. but I have god, and he happens to hold the pen that will write my story. And I'm cool with that.
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