if places were people no.3

I thought you were a shortcut.

You took us the long way 'round.
With stops at every station.
Pauses after every sentence.

We never went
faster than
50 miles an hour.

26 hours is a long time to sit and stare
memorize each other's faces, skin lit up by
dimness of walkway lights, reflecting off the scratched, plastic-y windows.

Maniacal laughing clatter of steel wheel against steel track
annoying complaint of rubber window lining against foggy glass to the outside
Almost distant stubborn stomach grumble of the machine taking us to somewhere

You are that in-between place
That interpretation
That 'please wait while document loads' symbol.

You will always come back
But sometimes you will sleep
And Destination will take your place

Sometimes you will go on holiday
And Preparation will visit
To get us ready for you again.

Sometimes your face will change.
You'll grow a beard, or something else ridiculous will happen,
Like the time your eyes changed colors.
And sometimes I will need to memorize that face
Over again.
Take the journey twice.

Sometimes you don't make sense.
And yet you are almost constant and consistent
But you are nothing twice
You are never the same
You are In-between

We had better get used to it because
Consistent is different than static
And change is different from chaos

And sometimes you will drive the train backwards
And north will be west
And east will be south.

And I don't mind.
I love you very much, more than I thought I would,
Because I thought you were a shortcut, someone
I could pass by without a second glance
And you very much weren't.

Which is to say
I like your scenic routes better.

In-between is nice.
Even though it is the definition of patience
and You never had a dictionary.

Which is to say
I thought you were a shortcut
And you showed me the world
And stole my calendar
And my time
And my heart
And now,
I live for the limbo
The in-between
The changing
The unexpected hairpin curve that says
Pay attention.
You don't have time for second glances.
You may not come this way again.

(WHAAAAATTTT. Yeah. Hi. I'm not dead or anything I just haven't posted in FOREVER. Sorry 'bout that. But anyway, if you're interested, the idea for this one was from the train trip we took last October. Fun stuff. LOVE Y'ALL. I'm going to post again soon so stay tuned.)

(ANOTHER NOTE BECAUSE I FORGET THINGS: remember last year when i did that blogtober series? I NEVER DID DAY 18 (the horror) but it was supposed to be "This week I..." and really, that week before the 18th i had gone on a train trip, which is what this post was based on. basically: i finally finished blogtober and its july. isn't that great?)

if places were people. no. 2

Just allow me this moment to say that I LOVE THESE PICTURES THAT I TOOK and also a warning to prep yourself for another rather sad people/places analogy/rant. #sorrynotsorry 

our lane. as in, yours and mine.

open and honest, the towering brown rabbit of a house nested against a row of ponderosas,

three of them a three-headed dog.

if you follow where the driveway points, an arm into the wilderness

you end up in the stream-bottom, hidden heart of the wood, 

wandering water trickling down from a lake 30 miles away, 30 years up the canyon.

you end up in an aspen grove with a random pond 

in the middle where we don’t ice skate in the winter

because we don’t know if it freezes and none of us are brave enough to find out.

none of us want to be eaten by water.

you have to walk down a hill to get there. 

it’s the same hill we go sledding on in winter, dangerous, 

like an angry boyfriend, but alluring in the same way. 

you have to take a 6-foot sidestep to avoid the sister of a bush with inch-long thorns.

around all this are the fatherly fields, that take away the view of the highway and when you lean

down it looks like the grass stems have been dipped in gold-making water, 

except the water is the sky and it's blue as eyes, blue as ice.

and even beyond that are the step-mother mountains, protective, leaning in to eavesdrop your secrets,

passing them on to the wild animals that snicker in the night. 

the mountains where snow shows up in september 

and doesn’t leave until june 

the very heart of them is ice and 

you know that if you started walking through them, 

if you tried to leave, you’d never reach the other side.

and if you look at where the mountains start and 

follow the pointed ears and the pointed hair 

up up up up and over 

until you reach the pointed ears and pointed hair 
on the other side with a playpen for the sun and moon and stars in between, 

where geese dip their wings in the spring and fall
clouds parade and wander and fight 

you swear that if you look hard enough the blue of the sky turns into the blue of the sea

the whispers of the wind gossips that live in the trees turn into 

lullabies of sea goddesses and gold grass turns to gold sand 

but either way you know that if you started walking through the mountains or you started flying

through the sky or the sea 

either way you know that you won’t make it out the other side.

and you know that if you did, if you did start walking or flying, and you changed your mind 

half-way, and you started walking back, 

the damage would be done. 

your stepmother would be broken and old, and your father wouldn’t be gold grass covered anymore,

he would be simply dirt and the few remnants of brown field, 

and the sister thorn bush would be gone and the boyfriend would be married to the stream 

and let’s face it:          if you leave now it will never be the same.

Leibster Blog Award

SO - here I get this Pinterest message from Abbiee at her music blog. (This alone was enough to make my day.) (#pinterestaddict) 

And this message says that she has tagged me for the Leibster Blog Award. 

I have seen this award. 

It floats about the internet like gold stars on a European restaurant.  (Go watch The Hundred-Foot Journey. SO GOOD.) 

and I love tags. 

Incentive + ability + TOTAL EPICNESS = BEST

What could possibly be wrong about any of this combination??
So i give to you:

Here's the rules:

1. Steal the logo thingy. Yep, go ahead, take it! (Or, you can dig around on the big wide Web and see if you can find another one that somehow fits your blog better. Or you could make one. This one is from Abbiee. It's pretty awesome. i don't see why you would need a different one.)
2. Link back to the person that tagged you. (Hello. That would be me.)

3. Answer the 11 questions that I provide for you at the end of this post. (So. Many. Questions.) 
4. I looked up the official rules for the Liebster award, since i had never done it before and i wanted to LEARN about it (because i love to learn.) and guess what? You're supposed to provide 11 random facts about yourself. (yesssss.....) so do that. tell us about how you eat nutella at midnight and only use slippers on christmas and have only ever had two pets at any given time. 
5. Tag 5 – 11 bloggers that you think deserve to be Liebster of the Year (i don't think that's actually a thing but shhhhh - don't tell anyone :), who have a less than 1000 followers. (apparently you can get a little widget for your blog that lets people know how many people have followed your blog. or you could just ask the blogger. Or you could just guess. Because really....who's counting?) i was confused on the number of nominations you could give so i googled the original liebster blog award and basically the rules have morphed over the years. some people say 11 bloggers, some say 5, some say 10, some say as many as possible. I JUST THINK ITS FUN TO FIND OUT ABOUT PEOPLE. so do however many nominations you want. TAG AWAY.

6. Ask them 11 questions. (or more. or less. but why would we ask less questions? this is an interrogation, right?) (kidding. its actually not. but if it was it would be the coolest interrogation ever.)
7. List these rules in your post. (if you want you can copy and paste from here, or you can do your own interpretation.)

8. Let your tagged bloggers know you've tagged them, via social media or their blog. (IMPORTANT STEP. and give them a link to your blog post that nominates them because if they don't have that then they can't see the questions.) (lol, no i'm not talking from experience. that would be ridiculous.)

9. Also, just as kind of an afterthought...you should really leave your nominator a link to the post you write. Because that's why you were nominated: someone loved your blog. 

So my answers to the phenomenal questions asked by the phenomenal Abbiee:

>>> Best childhood memory?

I don't think I can actually choose just one......maybe the time our friends came over from Portland and we had "Camp LongWalk", which included homemade toy boat races, and lots of bug spray, and sardines, and vienna sausages, and water fights? Or maybe the time we went on the road trip with my aunt to Mount Rushmore? Or maybe the time that Lexy, Dad, and I were home without Mom and Dani and there was a thunder storm so we hung out in the kitchen with all of the doors to the house open and drank chocolate milk and watched the rain come down in sheets? Or the time that we took an unexpected adventure to the coast just because we could? All of it. Really. CHILDHOOD WAS AWESOME.

>>> What is your opinion of Tumbler?
My opinion is a generalization:  Tumblr is full of awesome people who are probably less awesome in person and have less than awesome lives but make them seem awesome by presenting facades on this social media column. They are also often obsessed with some movie or TV series, and this is the subject of much of their circles. (Truth: I would probably have a tumblr if I had more time. God knew that I could only actually live life if he put 24 hours in a day. If he had put in 25, I would have a tumblr, and it would be terrifying. And time consuming. And I would rule the world through tumblr, which would be a disaster. Thus 24 hour days.)

>>> Current Favorite Song?
Hello, My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos - THIS SONG IS AWESOME. AND THE ARTISTS ARE AWESOME. GO LISTEN TO THEM. 

>>> Spirit Animal?? (it can also be a person)
 Tea. Tea is my spirit animal. Either that or a manatee. I like those things. 

>>> What is that thing that, when you do it, you feel ALIVE?
Traveling, especially when it involves public transportation. It's like all of my senses are turned onto super-mode, so I see and hear and feel and taste and smell everything 10 TIMES MORE INTENSE THAN I NORMALLY WOULD. It's like having the volume turned up. (Second choice: running. Because it is then that I realize how close to death I am.) (Thus why I never run.)

>>> Are GIFs life or annoying? Both.  I love them because there are some really incredible GIFs out there that make me react like Exhibit A. But then there are also some really lame ones that people say are awesome and my reaction is something like Exhibit B.

>>> Do you stare at them forever just to read lips with the caption?
Yes. Especially when they only get half-words in there and you're start thinking WHAT DID THEIR FACE LOOK LIKE FOR THE REST OF THE WORD? #problemswithgifs  #lovehaterelationship

>>> Was that last question confusing?
No. Not at all. I get that.

>>> Dream job?
Midwife or Librarian.  Or official tea taster. Or I would love to be a professional hybernator. (That one is still in the works but I think we can make it happen.)

>>> Who is your greatest spiritual influence?
MMM. MY MOM. She's the best.

>>> If you had access to a time machine, where would you go?
I would go back. way way way way way back to when i was just a kid, and the worst thing that happened was sunburns and blisters on my feet because i wore that stupid pair of flipflops for too many days in a row. I would go back to when breakfast meant sitting in the strawberry patch stuffing my face with the red fruit, brushing off the umber dirt if there was any stuck on the scarlet, seed-speckled surface. I would go back to when sitting in the hottub in the winter ALWAYS included running out into the snow and rolling around and then jumping back into the tub and the slicing, stinging skin pain that made us shriek with hysterical joy. (and as weird as that sounds, we had a GREAT TIME.) i would go back to before life meant bad things happened too. i would go back to when life meant that summer would always come around and the lawn mower doubled as a 4-wheeler in the wintertime so we could pull the sled around because we didn't have a hill in our yard. i would go back to when my brain wasn't clouded by the everyday mundane fog of lists of things to do and think and say and be and look forward to and worry about. i would go back to simpler times.

and that is quite possibly the most depressing thing i have written since this little downer. 

MOVING ON.

11 random facts about me: (and my sister helped me with these so beware...hehehe)

>>>  blood orange gelato is my greatest weakness. (Shhh...don't tell.)

>>> I have only ever broken one bone, and that was my middle toe on my right foot. (We were playing Disney tag in a narrow hallway...weird things happen.)

>>>apparently I "gulp" my water.

>>> and "viciously" brush my teeth. 

>>> and my driving...you know in the movies where the edge of the world is falling off and the people are running on the little pieces and they have to not fall of the edge of the world and it's really intense and kinda scary??? That's how I drive....or so I've been told. 

>>> the ocean/seaside/beach is my most favoritest place to be. 

>>> despite the beach being my favorite place...I despise swimsuits. 

>>>  I think music is super awesome. And I think the passion that people have for music and arts is really epic. And people who love to do music....they're pretty superb. 

>>> this is not my first blog. I started doing a food blog like, four years ago, and there's maybe 8 posts on it...and I never really do anything with it, but I'm thinking about ressurecting it. 

>>> I do actually eat Nutella late at night.....*sigh*...confession. 

>>> I am a completely unique person. I am an introvert, but I like people. (Sometimes they're stupid, but all of us are at some point.) I don't like fish or chicken legs or good earth tea. Cooking is a stress relief for me. I like music that I like, not any specific band or any specific genre. I like clothes that are kinda hippie, kinda cool, kinda grunge. (Like boyfriend jeans and tunics and combat boots and leather jackets with simple necklaces and fun socks and almost curly hair.) If I could fast forward or rewind, I would think long and hard about actually doing it. But you know what? I wouldn't actually do it. Because I like where I'm at right NOW. And I like my life and who I've become and what I've learned. I am unique. But so are you. So we are both different, but we have similarities. We are grown the same way...with lots of water and food and sleep and laughter and hard work and tears and life. Unique, and beautiful. (Wow....okay #chillsam #endofrant). 

My questions for you...hehehe....

1. cake, ice cream, or pie?
2. where do you go to think?
3. if you were sick in bed and you could ask someone from any time period to come visit you, who would you ask?
4. favorite word?
5. what is your perfect pizza?
6. favorite thing to do with friends?
7. how do you exercise?
8. Do you like yourself? 
9. Who is your fictional tv show character? (I know I'm not supposed to comment on these but I had to on this one.) (for example: my sister is certain that I am Sheldon off of The Big Bang Theory. Which is probably the closest we can get to making me a fictional character, although I would be a really nice version of Sheldon and I swear I don't complain that much.)
10. Why did you start blogging?
11. If Godzilla came crashing through your hometown, or wherever your living, what would you do? 

AND NOW? THE NOMINATIONS. MWAHAHA. (Please excuse this poorly executed linking...I'm still trying to figure out my blogger app and let me be quite frank: I HATE IT SO FAR.)

Jana @ http://janasfaith.blogspot.com/

/// 

Olivia @ http://summerof1999.blogspot.com/

/// 

Adelaide @ http://downbythewillows.blogspot.com/

/// 

Kryn @ http://gardenofhappiness-kryn.blogspot.com/

/// 

Sara @ http://www.glitteringambiguity.com/blog

///  

Bridget @ https://adventuresofasoul.wordpress.com/

Alright my pretty little peaches: don't forget the rules, feel free to paste and copy as needed, and don't forget to leave me a link to your blog when you're done with this doozy. I LOVE ALL YOUR BLOGS. They seriously make my days so nice, because they're so cute and cheerful and thoughtful and adventurous and basically shisihgUTJYRTDRCjnasljdhfkasjdhf ........yeah. I love them. :) 

Thanks to Abbiee once again! This was so fun! 

Happy blogging, Leibsters!

p.s. I apologize for the length of this post.....but never fear. I have faith in your eyes. :)

62 posts

on this blog, i have posted 62 times in the year of 2015.
Everything from rants and passion
to here's my boring stick-in-the-mud life.

the thing is, so much more has happened.
more than those 62 posts.
broken hearts, broken memories.
slow healing.
laughter that goes on and on until your gut aches.
a goal has been set.
multiple goals, actually.
and boundaries abound,
but our comfort zones have been stretched beyond belief.

i think i thought that life could be summed up.
that we could package life, and even people. and even
events, those summer vacations and
spur-of-the-moment road trips. the year after year of
christmas tree hunting in the woods and countless sledding and skiing days.
but we can't. because those things weren't made to be packaged.
they were meant to sit out, draped over the rocking chair like grandma's quilt.
somehow life wasn't meant to fit in a box. it was meant to spread out and run over everything.
Life isn't poptarts. its microwaved nutella.

but that's how life is best served. warm and gushy.
have you ever had frozen nutella?
worst ever.
frozen life. stuck in ice, no responses, cold and stiff.
what would be the point?

so yes - we'll try to fit life into our blog posts.
we'll try to fit it into a box.
but somehow the smell of sand and slightly damp carpet seeps out through the tape.
somehow, broken pine needles don't do bubble wrap.
somehow, somehow, snow doesn't package.

smiles don't fade in my head but printing out memories make them lose their color.
songs get stuck on replay in our brains even though they make us cry and when we try to record them they come out flat.

i try to type out words but they're two-d.
they're just words.
it seems that all i have to do, though, is read them and the mental images come flooding back, like a re-living of my life.
my eyelids are the screen - on them i can see the flash of red as fireworks go off in the fog.
dad throws up a sparkler and it lands in the snow, turning it neon green for a moment before going black.
lexy waltzing into my room at 5 o'clock christmas morning.
dani making me sit in the dirt so i can sit right in the saddle.
chris and the rubber chocolate cake.
joelle: 'its your happy birthday! its YOUR happy birthday! its your HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
eliza, round body, cooing and making me think that maybe, maybe i could have kids one day.
mom, dragging me along on hiking trips that were my idea and helping me salvage recipes gone wrong. me not having problems with chemistry and she just throws up her hands. me freaking out about basically anything and her say "Sam. CHILL. JUST DO IT. you're only holding yourself back."

and i can't write that on paper.
i can't write any of that on paper.
my mind is absolutely tick tight full of every memory i've ever had.

and i can't get it out.
not on paper.
not on this blog.
i can't recreate the scenes and take pictures.
its stuck in my head.

so yes. i've posted a lot this year.
personally, i feel like i've developed a lot in my writing.
i like my photography.
i'm getting better at arting.
but still -

it lacks that life.
i cannot capture life in my art.
in my writing.
in my pictures.

or maybe i can.
maybe i can and i just can't see it.
because in comparison to the product i see in my head,
the vivid world with so many colors,
in comparison, my output is wan. it is drab and empty.
if only you could see the real thing.

there is a species of shrimp that lives in the ocean. it can see 16 different color cones.
we can see three.
i wonder what that shrimp's world looks like.
it must be vivid.
i wish what i put out there was vivid. 16 color cone vivid.
but its not.
(or maybe i only have 3 color cones.)

i shall continue to write though. i will continue to post.
i will keep snapping photos.
and if next year holds 300 posts instead of 62, well, then grand.
if it only holds 12, that's okay too.

but i must recognise that life is not 2-d.
what we put out might be 2-d.
we probably won't be able to capture essencces. and mists. and 16 different color cones.
but we can capture 3. so why not?
why not do what we can, saturate ourselves in life.
breathe it. right now, its all we have.

Day 20 & 22 - Halloween tags and Pinterest roundups

Because i am SUCH a rebel: i'm combining these posts. So, its all from Pinterest. but i'm answering the tag questions. (i know. waaaaat?)

feel free to do this yourself! :)

1- What year did you first go trick-or-treating?

my family and i have only ever gone to church harvest parties and things like that. so, no, i've never actually gone trick-or-treating.

2- Favorite kind of candy?

3- What are you going to be this year?

sadness from Inside Out! (LOVE that movie...)

4 - Favorite costume you've had?

my sister and i did this for like, 3 years straight. cowboys and indians. OH and there was that one time where the entire family dressed up like hicks from the backwoods. there were some reactions to that. 

5 - Favorite spooky creature?

black cats. (the worst they can do is scratch you.) (plus these little buggers are ADORABLE.)

6 - How hyped do you get for Halloween?

7 - Halloween Pinteresty thing that you've always wanted to try?

we made caramel apples ONCE while i was a child. i REALLY REALLY REALLY want to give it another go.  

8- Favorite part of Halloween?

we don't actually GO to the movies. we just sack out in my mom's bedroom and watch like, 3 movies in a row and chow on junk food. 

9 - Orange or black?
both.

NOW: i'm not going to specifically tag anyone, but feel free to steal this. :) Happy Halloween! 

BLOGTOBER - T-minus 5, 4, 3...

I always say "oh, yeah...i'm gonna blog more."
WHATEV.
BECAUSE I ALREADY MISSED THE FIRST FIVE DAYS OF BLOGTOBER.
WHICH MEANS I FAIL AT BLOG.

but like i said - WHATEV.

i'll do it anyway.

DAY ONE: October Goals.

() take pictures of the leaves (i've already started and i don't intend to stop)
() finish my TBR list
() write more in my book, because its all stuck in my head and it needs to get out onto paper BEFORE IT DRIVES ME NUTSO.
() make pie dough and bread with my older sister
() hang out with my younger sister and maybe make music. but basically hang out.
() get more christmas shopping done. (yes. i have already started.)

DAY TWO: Fall Essentials.

~ red, orange, and yellow leaves. (more on that later. we had a lovely time.)
~ scarves and leggings
~ train trips across the country to visit freinds. (i didn't know this was an essential either. BUT IT IS.)
~ apple cider. and apple pie. and basically anything APPLE.
~ BOOKS. DUH and aviators.

DAY THREE: October To-Be-Read.
(*whispers* oh my gosh who created this tag...they are the best. i need them.)

LET ME SHOW YOU MY LIFE:

() these. because i've only actually read 3, 6, 7, and 8. so i have a lot left.
() and the rest of the Ranger's Apprentice series (11 & 12) because HELLO FLANAGAN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU WEREN'T DONE.
() Lion Heart by A.C. Gaughen
() Where the Moon Isn't by Nathan Filer
() Still Writing by Dani Shapiro (this has been half-read for over a year now. i need to put this book out of its misery.)
() Spark by Evan Angler (this series kind of went downhill for me, but i still want to see how it ends.)
() Fairest by Marissa Meyer (CANNOT. WAIT. FOR WINTER. which is the next book in the series.) (seriously, the suspense is killing me.)
() The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

DAY FOUR: This Week I...

AM GOING ON A TRAIN TRIP. YAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
It's gonna be a quick trip, but HEY it's something new and we get to see friends that we haven't seen in over a year so NO DUH ITS GONNA BE AMAZING. I will take 7.68 gazillion pictures for you. plus, like, TRAINS PEOPLE. I'm going to feel like one of the Pevensie children and probably talk in an British accent and wish i was dressed up like someone off Downton Abbey. BECAUSE - TRAINS.

DAY 5: 5 Tips I Would Give to a New Blogger

1. KEEP WRITING. Because if you don't write, then its kind of hard to have a blog. You don't always have to post it. But write it down. It makes the creative juices happy.
2. Read. Read books. Read other blogs. Read the classifieds in the newspaper if that's all you have on hand. READ. because reading means life, and new ideas, and FUEL for the fire.
3. Don't push yourself too hard. Only post the stuff you actually like, when it feels right.
4. Create your voice on the page. We all have ways that we talk in real life; find what you sound like when your thoughts are in paper and ink. (or, pixels and light if we're talking about computer screens.)
5. What needs to be said? Say it. What needs to be photographed and documented? Post it. What needs to be seen? Show it. We are the up-close-and-personal connection from life to internet. We provide the stories that are everyday. Not to mention the nifty little DIY pages and how-to's. You don't HAVE to have a strict blog for a certain genre. I mean, if you're obsessed about something, then go for it. but then there's me, and i have several obsessions and one of them is poetry and another is photography and then there's reading and lovely british television that sucks me in and doesn't let me go. SO WHAT THE HECK LETS WRITE ABOUT WHATEVER WE WANT. Be you. Its your blog...you can do what you want with it!

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS CHALLENGE. HERE. DO IT.
and tell me about your first five days of October. Isn't fall lovely?

I took the pic. My sister posed. Isn't she lovely? :)

nos-tal-gia:

/ a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations /

a reflection: it's not the tree, but it's not the water either. 

I love this word: nostalgia. It really is one of my favorites. Maybe its because I identify with it. I'm always wishing I could go back and change the way things were. Thus this weird thing that I hesitate to call a poem, but it's not prose either. It's halfway between, wanting to be one or the other, but it can't. Like nostalgia. We want to either completely know a thing or not know it at all. But we are stuck between.

nostalgia

It's odd when you meet
someone you never really knew.
They were always there
and you knew their name,
but you never talked to them
never hung out
never invested.
Because they were "different" from you.


Then, one day, after you grow up
and have to act decent to people,
and stop avoiding everyone who isn't one of your "friends"
you run into that person you never knew
and they say hi.
You say hi back.
And then you find that you get along
fabulously.
You are not as "different" as you thought.
Rather, you are similar.
You laugh and talk and joke and avoid those people that neither of you like
together.


Sadly, because you are both "grown up" now
you end up leaving the company
of new-found friendship,
with no plan to return,
because you both have friends
and jobs
and school
and life in general just gets in the way.
You know you will not see them again.
Not for a while.
Not for another undetermined amount of time.


And when you do see them again
they will probably be married
with two and a half kids
and a dog named Jack.
Part of you aches, wondering,
what would have happened? if both of you
had stopped
and got to know one another
YEARS ago when you were kids.


Because, as they leave,
as they walk away
and you turn to go as well,
you realize that you go great together.
that you compliment one another.
And have a whole lot more in common
than you realized at first
when you were still trying to avoid
that person
that you knew
but had never met.

December is my thankful month:

Normally, posts like this one come mid-November. You know, “I’m thankful for…” because Thanksgiving is coming and that’s what you DO at Thanksgiving: you GIVE THANKS. (And eat. You eat too.)

However, my time clock for getting things done runs about 22.67 days after everyone else’s. So, technically this post is on time, for me.

Also, December is my thankful month. I have the reminder from Thanksgiving to be thankful, my birthday, Christmas, and New Years (which makes me think about everything that happened that year), all within 45 days. I have a LOT to be thankful for.

Of course, I’m thankful for bunches more than what has appeared below. But these are the ones that have stood out to me in the last 24 hours. (And the ones that I had pictures of.)

 ---

The fog outside: I honestly cannot remember the last time we had fog in December. I bet the photographers are having a field day. (Like me! Although I’m lazy about my field days. This was taken from my porch, in my pajamas.)

This girl: my sis, one of my few best friends. (The heck with having one; that makes things complicated. I have two! J) She’s just generally awesome!

My dog: you know that song by Carrie Underwood? “…the more boys I meet, the more I love my dog…”?? It’s a lot like that.

My little niece, and her mom and dad…(the goofballs). Joelle thinks the ceiling fan is pretty cool.

The mountains: every time we go somewhere flat, I think of the mountains. I always feel unprotected and exposed without them.

My mom and dad: I have no idea how they do it, being parents to the terrors Lexy and I are. ;) They really deserve that trip to Mexico.

My piano: Since I have recently discovered that I actually begin experiencing withdrawals without playing it.

Oh, and Christmas. I’M VERY THANKFUL FOR CHRISTMAS. Especially when I think about the real reason we have the presents and the food (the FOOD!), and the lights and decorations, and the MUSIC! These things are all great, but they wouldn’t be anything without the baby in the manger. And that just makes me warm and fuzzy all over.

Have a happy Christmas season!

October

For Jana
(since she is awesome! check out her blog here!)

Once a year, October rolls around, along with pumpkins and Halloween candy. Leaves turn red and orange and they drop to the ground, blanketing it like the snow will in less than twelve weeks. The drink of choice switches from lemonade to hot cocoa, and large knit sweaters are dug out of closets for use.

The season changes.
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There’s a little white church down the road. Kids pile out of cars in the parking lot. Once they get inside, a young woman makes them line up on the stage. She speaks to them for a minute and then, on signal, the children begin to sing. They are not professional. They are uncertain, and rough, and pure in their voices. The woman stops them, the tone of her voice positive. She brushes a stray strand of silky brown hair back into the bun at the nape of her neck. The children work hard to please for she is likable. They sing again, their voices resonating out, a mosaic of music, slipping through the stained glass windows and out into the autumn air. 
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Giggles, splashes, and random bits of song drift through the fog. Chilly air, the faint scent of wood smoke, dead leaves, and chlorine, and the faintest of damp breezes make up the atmosphere. A peek through the fog would reveal a hot tub, steaming against the cold air, with three girls in it. All three have their hair piled on top of their heads in an attempt to keep their tresses out of the water. The trio sits, soaking in the water, singing Disney songs and drinking ice water. They are completely enjoying one another’s company. Another eruption of laughter bursts from them. One trips up in the song. Her curly-haired friend giggles but keeps singing, and the third girl splashes a bit of water, urging the first girl to join back in the song. The rambunctious singing fills the air again. 
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A pot bubbles on the stove, and you peer around the steam into the contents. A woman, with pre-salt-and-pepper hair, plunges a ladle into the concoction and pulls it out, pouring the contents into a bowl. She hands it to you.
Usually, the lady’s soups are enjoyed, ranted about, even. Occasionally, though, one comes along that even the dog won’t eat. You grin, though, and sip your soup, liking it this week.
Other girls go up and get bowls as well. Some eat theirs, others don’t. However, the French bread from the center of the table disappears, without fail, every week. Laughter and chatter fills the dining room; some weeks the volume is such that one must speak very VERY loudly to be heard above the noise of twelve teen girls fellowshipping. It’s a beautiful noise, sprinkled with the clink and clatter of spoons against bowls and crunchy bread. It’s soup night here, because it’s October.
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 The game is spread across the table. In the corner, an almost-gluttonous-sized bowl of chocolate chips is waiting. For our mouths. Glorious chocolate.
In the game, we technically are supposed to land on a certain square before we indulge in the sweet morsels, but I doubt that any of our trio will have the patience or the will-power for that.
So, we play, and eat chocolate, and laugh. 
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There is an extra mattress on the floor of my bedroom. You lay on it, and I’m in my own bed as well. It’s late, but on we talk, about anything and everything. As the minutes tick by, our voices slow, our responses are duller, and our eyelids grow heavier. I wonder how much longer we can keep ourselves awake, and close my eyes for a moment, relieving the stinging there.
When I open them again, you are fast asleep, covers pulled up against your cheek, eyes closed, curly blonde hair askew over the pillow, wisping around your face. Yes, you are quite asleep now, and as I turn off the lamp, I notice that snow has begun to fall outside. Ridiculous, you know, for October.
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Note: I’m not even sure if this last memory is from October. I think it’s from January (post-Christmas, since I gave my sis the TobyMac CD that year). But it is of Jana, and honestly, I kinda need a Jana fix right now. I seriously cannot listen to TobyMac’s Made For Me without thinking of this scene. So here’s to long-distance friendships, and chocolate on opposite sides of the world, and cold (Thanks, Montana – we hit zero degrees this week!).
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The goats and cats are waiting, and in the two inches of snow, it’s a big deal to drive up to our neighbors house to take care of the creatures.  You don’t mind though. We pull gear on – coats, boots, hats, and gloves - and pile into the car for Mom to drive us. You grab my sister’s new TobyMac CD on the way out, and I hijack the radio.
We all listen carefully, bobbing our heads to the music. The CD is still too new for the words to be memorized.
But you, you pull the paper cover out of the plastic casing and follow along with the words. At one point, you shout with glee – “Ah!” – and then go on to repeat the words of the song for us and explain what they mean, the reason behind the words.
To me, the logical translation of the lyrics doesn’t come through. The words are encoded, suddenly: as your shout for joy, as your gleeful reaction to your understanding of them. For me, they are an ever-standing encryption, ever-sung memory of my curly-haired friends delight at a TobyMac song.