62 posts

on this blog, i have posted 62 times in the year of 2015.
Everything from rants and passion
to here's my boring stick-in-the-mud life.

the thing is, so much more has happened.
more than those 62 posts.
broken hearts, broken memories.
slow healing.
laughter that goes on and on until your gut aches.
a goal has been set.
multiple goals, actually.
and boundaries abound,
but our comfort zones have been stretched beyond belief.

i think i thought that life could be summed up.
that we could package life, and even people. and even
events, those summer vacations and
spur-of-the-moment road trips. the year after year of
christmas tree hunting in the woods and countless sledding and skiing days.
but we can't. because those things weren't made to be packaged.
they were meant to sit out, draped over the rocking chair like grandma's quilt.
somehow life wasn't meant to fit in a box. it was meant to spread out and run over everything.
Life isn't poptarts. its microwaved nutella.

but that's how life is best served. warm and gushy.
have you ever had frozen nutella?
worst ever.
frozen life. stuck in ice, no responses, cold and stiff.
what would be the point?

so yes - we'll try to fit life into our blog posts.
we'll try to fit it into a box.
but somehow the smell of sand and slightly damp carpet seeps out through the tape.
somehow, broken pine needles don't do bubble wrap.
somehow, somehow, snow doesn't package.

smiles don't fade in my head but printing out memories make them lose their color.
songs get stuck on replay in our brains even though they make us cry and when we try to record them they come out flat.

i try to type out words but they're two-d.
they're just words.
it seems that all i have to do, though, is read them and the mental images come flooding back, like a re-living of my life.
my eyelids are the screen - on them i can see the flash of red as fireworks go off in the fog.
dad throws up a sparkler and it lands in the snow, turning it neon green for a moment before going black.
lexy waltzing into my room at 5 o'clock christmas morning.
dani making me sit in the dirt so i can sit right in the saddle.
chris and the rubber chocolate cake.
joelle: 'its your happy birthday! its YOUR happy birthday! its your HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
eliza, round body, cooing and making me think that maybe, maybe i could have kids one day.
mom, dragging me along on hiking trips that were my idea and helping me salvage recipes gone wrong. me not having problems with chemistry and she just throws up her hands. me freaking out about basically anything and her say "Sam. CHILL. JUST DO IT. you're only holding yourself back."

and i can't write that on paper.
i can't write any of that on paper.
my mind is absolutely tick tight full of every memory i've ever had.

and i can't get it out.
not on paper.
not on this blog.
i can't recreate the scenes and take pictures.
its stuck in my head.

so yes. i've posted a lot this year.
personally, i feel like i've developed a lot in my writing.
i like my photography.
i'm getting better at arting.
but still -

it lacks that life.
i cannot capture life in my art.
in my writing.
in my pictures.

or maybe i can.
maybe i can and i just can't see it.
because in comparison to the product i see in my head,
the vivid world with so many colors,
in comparison, my output is wan. it is drab and empty.
if only you could see the real thing.

there is a species of shrimp that lives in the ocean. it can see 16 different color cones.
we can see three.
i wonder what that shrimp's world looks like.
it must be vivid.
i wish what i put out there was vivid. 16 color cone vivid.
but its not.
(or maybe i only have 3 color cones.)

i shall continue to write though. i will continue to post.
i will keep snapping photos.
and if next year holds 300 posts instead of 62, well, then grand.
if it only holds 12, that's okay too.

but i must recognise that life is not 2-d.
what we put out might be 2-d.
we probably won't be able to capture essencces. and mists. and 16 different color cones.
but we can capture 3. so why not?
why not do what we can, saturate ourselves in life.
breathe it. right now, its all we have.

a wandering post about winter.

note: this also counts as day 19 of blogtober: share a diy. (you should be proud of this little blogger, doing it herself and hibernating. or if that's not good enough for you, i scrape my own windows when there's frost and snow on them.)

there is snow on the ground.
christmas music can make me either disgruntled or gruntled. (its a word, look it up.)
and it's so COLD.
its winter.
winter means scraping ice spiders off my windshield and
the dull thud of my boots on the frozen ground.
it means that the house gets cold at night anyway
but this year its colder than normal.
when i woke up this morning, my nose was cold. cold as if i'd been outside for 10 minutes.
i hate cold noses.

it means waiting for my car to warm up but lets face it, the heater sucks.
(you had one job, heater...one job.)
and the house, even though its almost 80 degrees, still feels like its only 55, and the cold beats at the windows like a chant.
cold cold cold cold cold
the sun seems so much brighter in the winter, taunting us.
"come outside and play...it's lovely out here!"
but then you open the door and BOOM
winter shoves in like an army at the gate,
like the uninvited to the party
the cold air billows in like snow before the plow.
everyone seems to be strapping their snow-pushers to the front of their mud-splattered pick-up trucks
the minute we get a skiff of the white stuff.

its my second favorite season (autumn is first). i love the white stuff.
i love the tingles you get in your toes whenever you see the christmas lights
and the giddy laughter that bubbles up when you think of your family's faces on christmas morning
because you got them some awesome gifts this year.

i love the bonfires that you have in the snow,
and life-threatening sledding in the dark - or even in the daytime.
i love the way the streams freeze over but then bits of the ice break off
and you can see the black water tirelessly sprinting on beneath the white cover.
the rivers do the same, but bigger water means faster water means thinner ice,
so its more like elephant skin, wrinkled but white, edging up on other ridges, pushing up the banks.

i love christmas. i love the holiday season. even in january, there's skiing and
there's hot tea and leggings (so awesome)
and you have the perfect excuse to bundle up and cover your skin
and you don't have to worry about finding tank tops that fit
because "what the heck ITS SWEATER SEASON frumpyness is actually semi-acceptable and visual comfort is expected"
and reading for hours on end is legit because what else are we gonna do? sunbathe?

the snow keeps coming and then it melts and the ground turns into one cohesive puddle of mud and yucky water.
the garden is kind of melted, but the sunflower stalks from last summer are still standing
and when the wind rustles their leaves it sounds like brittle newspaper being torn.
they wait like dirty giants, non-anticipatory of their fate, unmoving and solidly firm,
dead to the world around them.

sometimes we get rain, but it can't decide whether it wants to be rain or snow.
somehow i got all my christmas present shopping done before thanksgiving
but i can't buy anything because both my birthday and christmas come this month, dang it.
so i sit here, and i read, and i write, and i work, and i wait
because its winter.

but dang it dang it dang it 
why does it have to be so cold?

screw it all.
i'm going to hibernate.
don't wake me.
(unless its food time. or you plan on kidnapping me and taking me to somewhere lovely. or you've found a dragon and you want to give it to me. *whispers* someone please get me a dragon...)

December is my thankful month // 2015

http://thejourneyofhere.blogspot.com/2014/12/december-is-my-thankful-month.html

it's true. if i made a list of everything i'm thankful for, it would wrap around the world twice.
and to the moon and back.
it would stretch to the stars, dwarfing the eiffel tower, the burj khalifa
the twin towers and the empire state building.
because i'm thankful for that midwifery school that i'm going to next fall.
i'm thankful that things aren't as bad as they possibly could be.
i'm glad that there are valleys, and there are mountains, but neither last forever.
i'm thankful for my job - its awesome.
i'm thankful for my brain, and my books, and my family, and my dog.
i'm thankful for the new kittens that we got,
and for my legs and my arm and my slightly flabby belly.

i'm thankful that i have reasons to smile,
and reasons to cry
because that means that i'm not heartless, that i care.
i'm thankful that i still play piano.
that the brown box with black and white keys will always wait patiently with that 3 foot stack
of piano books. waiting waiting waiting. never angry at my imperfectly timed and rare practices.
i'm thankful that my older sister created Adorable Baby #2 and said Baby #2 loves me.
of course so does Adorable Baby #1, but #2 loves me more than #1 does, i think. basically, being an aunt is awesome.
i'm thankful that i can write the story that's been bouncing around in my head for five years. i'm thankful that its actually kind of working. and that the writer's blocks only last for a day or two. sometimes a week. but they always go away.

i'm thankful that i am blessed.
i'm thankful that i can and will and have learned a lot about life.
and i'm thankful that i'm turning 20.
which seems really old, but it also seems really young, too. maybe i'm not so thankful about that one.
but still, i'm thankful to be alive, and i'm thankful for all the messes, because somehow, those messes turn into beautiful things. messy people turn into beautiful people.

i'm thankful for the contrast in the world,
the good and the bad.
the where-we-have-been and the where-we-should-be and
the where-we-want-to-go.
because then we know where-we-are-at.
i'm thankful for the differences.
if we didn't have differences we wouldn't have contrast, we wouldn't have balance.

in essence, i'm thankful for life.
even though it can be awful, it can be beautiful, too,
because we have to have the bad to recognize the good.

30-ish before 30. (i can't believe i'm actually making this list.)

so normally i'm one of those people who hides in their room on their birthday.
i don't check my facebook.
i don't answer my phone (mostly because letting the well-wishers leave a message is WAY less awkward and honestly, i LOVE LOVE LOVE the messages they leave me.) OKAY FINE. exhibit a: i still have three different messages from three different people saved on my phone from my 16th birthday. Me? sentimental? never...
and i have a really hard time planning my own parties. or doing anything on my birthdays other than mope around because dang it i'm one year older, one year closer to dying. screw it, let's just plan my funeral now.

I really actually THINK THIS ON MY BIRTHDAY.

this year, i'm turning 20. *cue dirge*
this year, i'm considering writing my eulogy. *enter mourners clad in black*
this year, i--

"HOLD IT."
*awkward silence*
*sad sami gets pulled off stage by happy sami*
*whispered conversation ensues*
"you can't just..."
"yes i can..."
"you need to get a grip, girl..."
"but-"
"NO."
"i need to-"
"you are going to have a good birthday and you are going to enjoy it or so help me-"

*happy sami smiles from corner of stage*
"Hi everyone! sorry about that...Sami's having issues with turning 20. It's kind of understandable considering that its the end of her teen years but i think she's taking it a little too far, don't you? So to help her cheer up, we're going to help her create a list of all the things she's going to do in her 20s, okay? LET'S DO THIS!"

1. Buy a van, refurbish (or refurnish...can't decide on the word here), and road-trip across the U.S. with a small incredible group of girls and an amazing soundtrack. Do a blog specifically for the trip, let all the girls post on it, and take 7 billion pictures. (more or less...)
2. Do some form of obstacle course race.
3. See a Broadway show. In New York, of course. and listen to "Welcome to New York" while there.
4. Learn "Flight of the Bumblebee" on piano. Play it for Vicki.
5. Write. a) that novel. b) a book of poetry, thoughts, etc. maybe just make it a memoir. c) short story. d) a work of nonfiction, if you have an idea for it and everything is working out.
6. MISSIONS.
7. Experience something that takes your breath away.
8. Learn another language. 
9. Find your superpower.
10. Rest.
11. 1 blind date.
12. Takepicturesandmakeitahobby.
13. Travel internationally.
14. Dance in the rain.
15. See the Northern Lights.
16. Visit C.S. Lewis' home, or his grave, or somewhere related to him. (Narnia would be great.)
17. PARIS.
18. Throw a pot on a pottery wheel. 
19. AMSTERDAM.
20. Keep few secrets.
21. LONDON.
22. Tell that person that thing that you've been putting off for forever. of course, only if the opportunity arises. 
23. VIENNA.
24. Run after God. There is nothing else.
25. ROME.
26. Read Shakespeare. 
27. BERLIN.
28. Visit every continent. (including Antarctica.) 
29. MOSCOW.
30. Ride an elephant, while not in the U.S.
31. Add to this list, and chronicle it. 
32. Do something (travel, bookstore, whatever) with Jana. 
33. Work in a library.
34. Do something musical with Lexy. 
35. Messy Twister while wearing white clothes. 
36. Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, and Shawn Mendez concerts with Jana.

and then, after i wrote this list on a piece of card stock with a rainbow of different colored sharpies, i wrote this, too:

Because you are wonderful. Beautiful. Things can always get better, and God's hand is on you always. Fear not, and live without regrets. Do what you know you should do, and everything else will fall into place. 
This is your bucket list to get you through life. It's okay if you don't finish all of them before you turn 30. After all, that's only 10 years down the road. But make sure you do at least some of them, and whichever ones you miss you can add to your yet-to-be-created 40 under 40 list.
don't forget to Carpe this Deim. 

Day 10: stayin cozy (with gifs. YAY.)

WELL THIS IS GOING TO BE THE EASIEST BLOG POST EVER.

HOW TO STAY COZY IN AUTUMN:

Step 1: buy internet data.

Step 2: never get out of bed.

Step 3: surf Pinterest and Facebook and blogs ALL DAY LONG. 

And that’s it.

The only problem with this is this tiny little thing called finances. In order to have successful finances, you have to have a job. Which requires getting out of bed. (unless I missed something. If you know a way around this little roadblock LET ME KNOW.) because my life is basically me doing things but in my head i'm going:

For the first 7 months of my job i tried to figure out how to dress appropriately. (Qualifications include temperature of clothing, applicability to the season of the year, and is-this-nice-enough-to-wear-there.) AND I FAILED MISERABLY for the first 7 months. It was awesome. At this point though, i'm barely keeping myself warm and cozy, so i don't know how my advice will help. you're probably just here for the amazing gifs. 

So here’s what I do, because I have a job and, unfortunately, no internet connection at my house:

STEP 1: Dress as cozily as possible. (Guys, I don’t know how you do this. I am not a guy thus I don’t know a) how you dress and b) if you ever get cold because you didn’t dress warm enough. I’m assuming you don’t have issues with this because you were all built with those blasted internal furnaces that God forgot to put into girls. *pointed look at God*.)

So girls, listen up:  

Leggings, flannel-lined pants (#heaven), and warm skirts with leggings are your best bet. Then, layer your tops: tank-top under a t-shirt or long-sleeve under a sweater and/or  a scarf. Then, warm socks and boots, or just regular shoes if you’re feeling brave enough to conquer that terrible condition known as ice toes. Next: DON’T FORGET THE COAT. Get something warm. As much as I hate long coats, they really are lovely in the midst of a short yet frozen walk downtown. (I believe my words were “MY LEGS ARE ICE LEGS.” …or something along those lines…)

STEP 2: DRINK WARM LIQUIDS. Yes, you will have to pee. But tea is lovely, as are toilets. Can’t have one without the other.

Also coffee is great, although you will suffer the consequences of addiction and HYPERNESS. NOT GOOD. Sometimes even hot water with a little stevia extract is nice, or lemon and honey tea. OR whatever other lovely liquid you’ve conjured up. (I love new ideas so let me in on your secrets.)

These are what I do, all autumn, and all winter. My sister thinks I’m crazy because I don’t do Step 3 like, EVER.  But let’s be honest: The cold never bothered me anyway. 

(Except for days when I didn’t get enough sleep. Then it bothers me more than an itch I can’t reach.) (And I can reach most of my itches.)(So that says a lot.)

STEP 3: TURN UP THE DANG HEATER. Sometimes that’s all you can do to keep the cold monsters at bay. My sister’s room usually feels like a sauna in the chilly early morning hours because someone decided to put wall heaters in our rooms. Lexy uses hers like the rapture might happen and goodness we want to get our use out of these before then, now don’t we?

(this is how lexy looks at the heater whenever i turn it off.)

But really. The best course of action is to stay in bed under a pile of blankets and hope no one notices you. (Maybe you’ll be able to avoid the job police.) (Let me know the success rate on this. I’m considering doing it myself.) 

(seriously sometimes i nope so hard i turn into this octopus.)

STAY WARM, PEOPLE. 

And offer tips. I love it when people give me new ideas of how to not freeze. 

OCTOBER (blogtober: day 8)

Day 8: Favorite things to do in October

they say it
like october is a place.

like you can smell its breeze and run through its grass, dry and dead though it may be.
welcome to october: population 2,015
the diner on the corner serves pumpkin pie, halloween candy, and apple cider.

October: Home of the largest Pumpkin Patch

orangish, browning leaves blanket the ground year-round
getting soggy with each damp night that sometimes turn into foggy mornings
that turn into sunshiny days that make you squint against the bright orange leaves

and the windowpanes are almost, almost frosted but not quite.

when october is a place you inhale its air and you become another person:
one who walks down the sidewalk slower than normal
stepping on crunchy leaves and burying your nose in your scarf.

and you think:

I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. -L.M.Montgomery

and you think that maybe october isn't a place - a physical place
as much as it is a mindset.
slow down. take those long last breaths before the icy pain of winter.
appreciate the dying beauty of the world around you.
october isn't a place but a time.
not even a season.
its just a paused moment between hot and cold
life and death
a bench to sit and watch leaves fall.

autumn, from autumnus - cold, to cool off, or enriched, enlarged, ample.
the cold grows, from autumn.
the winter springs from autumns death,
the spring from winter's demise.

the favorite thing to do in the little town of october
is watch life go round and round.

i'll give you a run-down of my actual favorite things to do in october. basically, play in leaves and take pretty pictures and dress in boots and scarves and flannel and have bonfires and smell the air and drink hot hazelnut breves. and write poetry. :D

BLOGTOBER - T-minus 5, 4, 3...

I always say "oh, yeah...i'm gonna blog more."
WHATEV.
BECAUSE I ALREADY MISSED THE FIRST FIVE DAYS OF BLOGTOBER.
WHICH MEANS I FAIL AT BLOG.

but like i said - WHATEV.

i'll do it anyway.

DAY ONE: October Goals.

() take pictures of the leaves (i've already started and i don't intend to stop)
() finish my TBR list
() write more in my book, because its all stuck in my head and it needs to get out onto paper BEFORE IT DRIVES ME NUTSO.
() make pie dough and bread with my older sister
() hang out with my younger sister and maybe make music. but basically hang out.
() get more christmas shopping done. (yes. i have already started.)

DAY TWO: Fall Essentials.

~ red, orange, and yellow leaves. (more on that later. we had a lovely time.)
~ scarves and leggings
~ train trips across the country to visit freinds. (i didn't know this was an essential either. BUT IT IS.)
~ apple cider. and apple pie. and basically anything APPLE.
~ BOOKS. DUH and aviators.

DAY THREE: October To-Be-Read.
(*whispers* oh my gosh who created this tag...they are the best. i need them.)

LET ME SHOW YOU MY LIFE:

() these. because i've only actually read 3, 6, 7, and 8. so i have a lot left.
() and the rest of the Ranger's Apprentice series (11 & 12) because HELLO FLANAGAN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU WEREN'T DONE.
() Lion Heart by A.C. Gaughen
() Where the Moon Isn't by Nathan Filer
() Still Writing by Dani Shapiro (this has been half-read for over a year now. i need to put this book out of its misery.)
() Spark by Evan Angler (this series kind of went downhill for me, but i still want to see how it ends.)
() Fairest by Marissa Meyer (CANNOT. WAIT. FOR WINTER. which is the next book in the series.) (seriously, the suspense is killing me.)
() The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

DAY FOUR: This Week I...

AM GOING ON A TRAIN TRIP. YAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
It's gonna be a quick trip, but HEY it's something new and we get to see friends that we haven't seen in over a year so NO DUH ITS GONNA BE AMAZING. I will take 7.68 gazillion pictures for you. plus, like, TRAINS PEOPLE. I'm going to feel like one of the Pevensie children and probably talk in an British accent and wish i was dressed up like someone off Downton Abbey. BECAUSE - TRAINS.

DAY 5: 5 Tips I Would Give to a New Blogger

1. KEEP WRITING. Because if you don't write, then its kind of hard to have a blog. You don't always have to post it. But write it down. It makes the creative juices happy.
2. Read. Read books. Read other blogs. Read the classifieds in the newspaper if that's all you have on hand. READ. because reading means life, and new ideas, and FUEL for the fire.
3. Don't push yourself too hard. Only post the stuff you actually like, when it feels right.
4. Create your voice on the page. We all have ways that we talk in real life; find what you sound like when your thoughts are in paper and ink. (or, pixels and light if we're talking about computer screens.)
5. What needs to be said? Say it. What needs to be photographed and documented? Post it. What needs to be seen? Show it. We are the up-close-and-personal connection from life to internet. We provide the stories that are everyday. Not to mention the nifty little DIY pages and how-to's. You don't HAVE to have a strict blog for a certain genre. I mean, if you're obsessed about something, then go for it. but then there's me, and i have several obsessions and one of them is poetry and another is photography and then there's reading and lovely british television that sucks me in and doesn't let me go. SO WHAT THE HECK LETS WRITE ABOUT WHATEVER WE WANT. Be you. Its your blog...you can do what you want with it!

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS CHALLENGE. HERE. DO IT.
and tell me about your first five days of October. Isn't fall lovely?

I took the pic. My sister posed. Isn't she lovely? :)

10 Things I Learned This Year

So, we passed that time of year again. Graduation. Parties. Friends. Family. Planning, thinking, finishing, doing...starting.
Your life as you know it is ending, and then you realize that your life is just starting, too. What a contradiction.
Watching the 2015 graduating class go through the ceremonies and the parties and everything...it got me thinking. I've only been graduated for a year, but in that year I have learned a gazillion things. I have become aware of things that were there for 18 years, but I didn't notice them until now. I have discovered new depths and dug deep into rich, healthy soil that has been being primed for this post-high-school life. A lot can happen in a year. Everything comes and goes - everything - to the point where somehow your life looks similar (because it's still yours) but the color, the look, the feel - EVERYTHING has changed.

Somewhere along this great timeline of life, someone thought it would be a great idea to have young adults have a complete change in EVERYTHING right smack-dab in the middle of what could be considered a young adult's mid-life-crisis. (Currently, I don't like this person.) But even when everything changes, we keep going.

"...life doesn't stop for anybody." - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

So, life doesn't stop. Neither do we. We never stop learning, doing, breathing, thinking, living.
And this is what I've learned while I've not stopped in the last year:

1. Family is the most important thing that you will ever have, other than your faith. So, get to know them, if you don't. Lose the attitude - your parents actually do know more than you. Make use of their knowledge. They've lived longer than you. Also, find another model-figure for your life and make use of their knowledge. Usually someone who hasn't lived with you for the last 18 years has a different perspective. Also, family is not limited to blood-relatives. Some of my family members are sunday-school teachers from 3rd grade. Some are co-workers. Some are my mom's clients that I cat-sit for. And then there's my church. (which personally I think can be a little weird, because it's like: assuming everyone in this building has accepted Christ...um, they're all my bro's and sista's....sorry, what was your name? I don't think we've met..." And it's also weird when those people know your name because you're on the worship team, but then you're like "actually I don't recognize you at all....I was probably looking at my music..."). Basically, EMBRACE YOUR FAMILY.
2. You can't change people. You can only change yourself, your reactions, your responsibilities. So, if you don't like something that you can't change, change your reaction. for example: this spring i had an incident with the director of the play that i was providing music for. she felt that i wasn't putting enough effort into the music (when in reality i was putting in as much effort as i could muster). I had to tell her that i was doing that, but in order for me to do any better, i was going to need HER support, and the music director's support too. and then, rather than being really mad at her (because i really wanted to be mad at her) i decided that she was stressed about the play and the deadlines in it, and i was stressed about the same, and the only thing i could do was be nice to her. and you know what? it worked. the more understanding i tried to be, the less angry i felt with her and the easier it was for me to put more effort into the music. 
3. Treat others as you would like to be treated. (And don't be a two-year-old and be mean. Be decent. It will be returned to you.)
4. Make new friends. This one, I think, is critical. Usually, we spend most of the first 18 years of our life surrounded by familiar faces: friends that we grew up with from childhood, family, people from church, etc. I think we have a tendency to harden our abilities to meet new people, thus creating cliques (which, if you have ever been on the outside of a clique, is actually very painful). So when a new face shows up at bible study, introduce yourself. When you see a new family at church, or at a gathering, or WHATEVER, go say hi. (I know: this is coming from the introvert. But I'm not entirely hopeless. I have at least 3 friendships that are new as of the beginning of the year.) WARNING: if you are in a clique and you do this, you might lose your place...just sayin'.
5. Clothing does not wash itself. (I had to put this one in.) I have never been good at doing laundry. I put a load in the washer, and then forget about it for two days. Thankfully, I've been getting better about not leaving it for days at a time, but in the process have developed another habit: waiting to wash the clothes until I have none left to wear. DON'T DO THIS. Because chances are, you'll choose to do laundry on the very day that everyone else in your living quarters chooses to do laundry. And then that results in laundry wars. (*ahem*, underwear helmets and laundry basket shields.....be sure to remove all cameras from premises so as to avoid blackmailing material...)
6. Get a job, and learn how to love it, even when you hate it. Currently, I'm not totally in love with my job, because I'm learning that everyone in the world does not wish for bubblegum, rainbows and unicorns. But, the paycheck makes up for it. And I have awesome hours. So basically it balances itself out.
7. Have fun. Literally. For a couple months after I graduated, it was like I was still in school. Always busy, always doing something. And then things slowed down. This last month or so, even though I'm still really busy, I've been focusing more on doing things I enjoy - like staying up until 2 a.m. reading. Or going for walks with my mom. Or going to a movie with my sister. Or just meeting a friend for coffee. (I LOVE coffee dates.) Or Skyping with people halfway around the world. Slow down a little, enjoy what you do.
8. Be YOU. I know you've heard this before, but I cannot stress it enough. This is your life. More particularly, this is your first year on your own. (Yeah, I know, it's freaky.) So you get do change the things you don't like about yourself, and nourish the parts that you do like. You get to take that clay that your parents have spent 18 years centering and shaping (not details yet, just form) and you get to start saying "I like that, lets add a little detail. I like this, lets put some in here. And...oh GOODNESS we need to get rid of that..." You get to shape yourself, and let God shape you. It's really awesome.
9. Laugh at yourself. No kidding, here. I used to get super stressed out and then the tiniest little thing would set me off and I would either turn into the Hulk, or run sobbing to my room. SERIOUSLY let it go. When you mess up, LAUGH. It makes the situation that much less painful, and everyone else around doesn't get a ruined day.
10. Find something you love about yourself. EXAMPLE: I have great legs. No, really. I LOVE my legs, especially when I work out and they are semi-tan. Also, I love that I'm an introvert. I mean, yeah it can be a little bit of a problem when I have to be around people...but when I DON'T have to be around people its really awesome because then I'm this super low-maintenance person. When you start looking for something you like, you get to know yourself better. It's really interesting, because it basically goes like this: "Lets see....what do I like about myself....OOH! I like that. But what's that? Ugh...gross. I think that needs to go. So, trashcan where are yo- OH MY GOODNESS LOOK AT THIS LOVELINESS where has that been? has it been hidi- have you been hiding all this time? THAT IS SO COOL!!!"

*ahem*
or something like that.
10 things in 1 year. I've probably learned more. I've probably learned more important ones. But I've probably also forgotten them.
These are the ones I remembered. These are the ones that are important to me.
so what did you learn this last year?  what do you remember? what's important now? You should totally tell me about it in the comment section! :D

10 books to read...aka: my summer reading list

So, in the summertime, this is what I do:
Eat.
Read.
Sleep.
Read.
Work.
Read.
Work-out.
Read.
Read some more.
Repeat.

All while NOT getting tan. (My skin thinks it's a sin to be anything a shade darker than "pale".)

Seriously though.
I will read more than 10 books this summer.
Let's face it.
I've already read 10 books this summer....so what's 10 more? ;)


Problem: I've got like, 90 books that I want to read...and I feel like I should make myself read a variety of books because otherwise I'll get stuck in the Young Adult Fiction section of the library and NEVER LEAVE.


So, there's some fiction, non-fiction, serious, funny, dystopian, romance, classic, new, etc., etc., etc.....because that's life.
It's also what my bookshelf looks like.



1. Station Eleven: It looks like tragedy on paper. I love tragedy. How bad can it be?




2. All the Light We Cannot See: I'm going to need tissues for this one.

3. #8, #9, #10 of The Ranger's Apprentice: ONLY THREE LEFT...and I must finish this series...I think they should just make it into one ginormous book. (Because that would be AMAZING...)




4. Sense and Sensibility: one must have a classic on every book list...

5. I Was Here: this one looks sad too...what is it with me and sad books?

6. The Princess Bride: I know the movie, but not the book, and that's a problem that needs fixing.

7. Legend: This one is in the stack by my bed. As we speak. Like, I have to read this or I will be forever ashamed.

8. Earth Girl: Also in the stack, although I've never heard of it before the librarian recommended it...the description on the back reminds me of the Lunar Chronicles (which are excellent, by the way.)

9. Kisses from Katie: I have this prediction that this book will be very motivating for me to read because it's about missions. Also, personally I find her story extremely inspiring.

10. A C.S. Lewis book: either The Screwtape Letters or Mere Christianity...or both.... :D

11. BONUS: A Severe Mercy (mwahahahahaha...eleven books....I'm such a rebel...)

So, the other thing that I really want to do is a review for each of these. Something along the lines of "on a scale of BOOYEAH to heckno, where does this book fall?" sort of a thing...

*sigh* There's so much to look forward to.



keep it chill people,
sami




P.S. Just an FYI: This is part 1 of a 10 part series: The 10 Things. It's gonna be epic, so stay tuned.