I thought you were a shortcut.
You took us the long way 'round.
With stops at every station.
Pauses after every sentence.
We never went
faster than
50 miles an hour.
26 hours is a long time to sit and stare
memorize each other's faces, skin lit up by
dimness of walkway lights, reflecting off the scratched, plastic-y windows.
Maniacal laughing clatter of steel wheel against steel track
annoying complaint of rubber window lining against foggy glass to the outside
Almost distant stubborn stomach grumble of the machine taking us to somewhere
You are that in-between place
That interpretation
That 'please wait while document loads' symbol.
You will always come back
But sometimes you will sleep
And Destination will take your place
Sometimes you will go on holiday
And Preparation will visit
To get us ready for you again.
Sometimes your face will change.
You'll grow a beard, or something else ridiculous will happen,
Like the time your eyes changed colors.
And sometimes I will need to memorize that face
Over again.
Take the journey twice.
Sometimes you don't make sense.
And yet you are almost constant and consistent
But you are nothing twice
You are never the same
You are In-between
We had better get used to it because
Consistent is different than static
And change is different from chaos
And sometimes you will drive the train backwards
And north will be west
And east will be south.
And I don't mind.
I love you very much, more than I thought I would,
Because I thought you were a shortcut, someone
I could pass by without a second glance
And you very much weren't.
Which is to say
I like your scenic routes better.
In-between is nice.
Even though it is the definition of patience
and You never had a dictionary.
Which is to say
I thought you were a shortcut
And you showed me the world
And stole my calendar
And my time
And my heart
And now,
I live for the limbo
The in-between
The changing
The unexpected hairpin curve that says
Pay attention.
You don't have time for second glances.
You may not come this way again.
(ANOTHER NOTE BECAUSE I FORGET THINGS: remember last year when i did that blogtober series? I NEVER DID DAY 18 (the horror) but it was supposed to be "This week I..." and really, that week before the 18th i had gone on a train trip, which is what this post was based on. basically: i finally finished blogtober and its july. isn't that great?)
